Wednesday, April 26, 2006 @4/26/2006 01:48:00 PM
It really has been a long time. Ok I have no idea how long, but I just cannot be bothered to blog. The enthusiasm I have for blogging have long been be gone. Gone are the days where I put happy pictures of myself enjoying life, gone are the days that I put my thoughts and feelings into this blog. Why I wonder? I have no idea myself. Not that I'm not living a colourful life. I am. Too colourfull a life I feel. Too many problems. Somehow, its like my new room and I clash. Like it jinxes me. Or is it just my bad year once again? Every year, I say the same thing. Its never a good year for me.
But out of all these, I have learnt. Letting go is the hardest thing to do. But if letting go makes my life easier and gets me outta this rut, maybe, then maybe I'll stop having such a shitty life. I wonder, I am supposedly having such a wonderful life. But yet I complain so much. I really need to stop and smell the roses.
Stop and smell the roses.
Easier said than done. Especially if you find out that you're going to be taken for a ride. Payback time and all those crap. Playing with feelings. I once said that I became a softie after something drastic happened. Last night, my heart hardened again. It'll make me become the girl before, the one who does not care about anyone else except people who matter to me. Its back to that girl behind that self-defensive line.
And God, please let me stay that way.
⥠every page of my imagination