Results are out. Why do I feel such? Lost, depressed, forlorn. Everything down.
Cos I fucked myself up. Why?
Cos I just saw my honours fly away right in front of me. Why?
Cos I cannot bloody piroritise and fix my majorly fucked up life.
Yeah. Me. To mope the rest of my holidays.
=(
⥠every page of my imagination
I miss her already. Take care my dear babe.
⥠every page of my imagination
Today's my day. Alright, technically its over. But today has been a lovely lovely day.
A day of wishes, warmth, pressies and most of all love from everyone.
Thank you everyone for making my 21st a wonderful, unforgettable one.
⥠every page of my imagination
Today, the scariest thought came to mind. Standing at my balcony smoking, I wondered what I would look like at the bottom of my balcony. Splattered? In pieces or just broken?
Today I felt like jumping. Suddenly, the 2nd floor seems to high up. So heavenly. So desirable.
Today, I scared myself.
Saved by a
⥠every page of my imagination
不要放弃我，好吗?⥠every page of my imagination
Maybe I should just let things be, To not hurt myself anymore. To not feel gek sim everytime I see their photos. The closeness. The proximity, or lack of.
To not feel jealous is impossible. To clean my act, maybe so.
A change of heart once more for you. A stab in my heart once more for me.
It seems like my most perfect person has left me once more.
To be her invisible man.
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what can I write again.
I have:
- Gone crazy
- Gone senile
- Gone mad
- Gone nuts
- Gone cuckoo.
Alright. You get the point. I have exhausted what's left of my brain cells to think of synonyms to crazy.
Meanwhile. Let's be just C.R.A.Z.Y.
⥠every page of my imagination
What can I write? About my majorly fucked up studies or my majorly fucked up life?
Let's talk about my studies. I have had 2 papers so far, both of which, I have absolutely no confidence in. In fact, I may fail them. Yeah, fail. Failure has not been part of my dictionary since I came to uni. But failure has been a major part of my life. All my life, my studies have been fucked up, till I was given the chance to study in Australia. Since then I have not failed. Till this sem, this word surfaced again. Why am I here for then? To fail again? To let my parents down again? Its all my fault, for not being able to control myself. To not be disciplined enough to sit my ass down to study. I have a paper on Monday which I have not even finished studying and at the rate I'm going, I doubt I'm actually going to finish it. Which doesnt surprise me. Cos this is what has been happening to my previous 2 papers. What a major fuck I am. Jess is supposed to be mature. Sometimes I think I'm just still a little kid inside of me. Needing someone to guide me around. To tell me what to do. To give me the answer I actually already have in my heart. To tell me what is right and wrong. I want to be that little kid. A kid that someone can guide. Making decisions is a pain in ass. Its hard, its horrid, its tiring.
Let's talk about my life. Two words: Fucked up. Yeah, that sums up my life right now. Too many problems on my mind. Too many to think I about. Too many I shouldnt be thinking about. Too many I just want to let go. But problems are such a pain that I have to think about them. Letting go is hard but if there's nothing for me to catch on. Catching onto thin air, grasping onto nothing with not even a shred of thin line to hold on. Sucks. I picked up smoking. Yeah smoking. Which I intend to cut hopefully by the time I go home. But my bad habit. Yeah. I hate to admit but according to Anurax, admission is the first step to recovery. I'm admiting it. I better bloody well cut the habit.
Don't let me go cos I have never ever let you go.
But if you moved on without me. I wish you all the best.
⥠every page of my imagination
死性不改 - Twins and Boyz
再见了我的宠爱谁愿接受这种意外
你赞我天生可爱不愿看著我离开
同伴也话我傻喜欢受挫
宁愿情敌在伤我
人天生根本都不可以爱死身边的一个
无奈你最够刺激我凡事也治到倒我
几多黑心的教唆我亦捱得过
来煽风来点火就击倒我黱
谁恋爱就多障碍死性我不想改
如我没有你的爱我没法活得来
情人的存在是我从来都志在
难在我拱手让爱
(spoken)
点解要咁姐
点解唔可以咁呀
你唔觉得好辛苦咩
辛苦但系我钟意呀
算吧啦
我怕可一不可再难道你被爱都有害
我确信天真不会错威力会移山填海
同伴也话我傻喜欢受挫
宁愿情敌再伤我
人天生根本都不可以爱死身边的一个
无奈你最够刺激我凡事也治到倒我
几多黑心的教唆我亦捱得过
来煽风来点火就击倒我黱
谁恋爱就多障碍死性我不想改
如我没有你的爱我没法活得来
情人的存在是我从来都志在
难在我拱手让爱
人天生根本都不可以爱死身边的一个
无奈你最够刺激我凡事也治到倒我
几多黑心的教唆我亦捱得过
来煽风来点火就击倒我黱
来煽风来点火就击倒我黱
谁恋爱就多障碍死性我不想改
如我没有你的爱我没法活得来
情人的存在是我从来都志在
难在我拱手让爱
如我没有你的爱我没法活得来
情人的存在是我从来都志在
难在我拱手让爱
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I once thought I met the most perfect person in my life. Till the most perfect person has left me too.
Who else is there for me to meet then?
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Hehe.. Nuff Said..=D
Exams people..
~Signing out~
⥠every page of my imagination
六个月的今天，我们在一起了。 六个月前的你和六个月后的你变了许多。
曾问你星期一有空吗。。你说没空，要读书。但今天你又出去了，还出去了那么久。难道和我出去吃顿饭那么难吗?
宁愿和别人出去也不和我出去。。
六个月可能对你来说没什么,可能这段情也对你没什么。。
⥠every page of my imagination