In 24 Hours, what happens? ;)
⥠every page of my imagination
What did Jess do today?
- Woke up at 630am for my exam.
- Went to uni to take my exam
- majorly fucked it up cos of my lack of preparation
- called someone who in turn scolded me
- depressed somemore, went to Indroo mall to shop
- went to do grocery shopping because I dont have anything else to eat
- carried 40 bucks worth of stuff back home in rain. What's the difference I wonder going today and yesterday?
- came home to an empty devoid house
- still in that empty house wondering why the hell is my life like that
- listening to Almost Here
- thinking to myself: I hate my life now. I hate this whole alone thing. I hate this exam period. I hate this empty house. I hate myself for deciding not to fly back. I hate this cold weather. I hate myself just because I hate myself
and its only 145pm.
⥠every page of my imagination
Family relations are supposed to be the one that is the closest to you. Or that's what I thought. Now I know, my brother blames me daily for my dad sending me overseas to study. Daily my dad talks to them about me spending the family's money about my education and how everyone has to scrimp and save because of me. Yeah, to my brother I bring brightness to my house because of the mere reason that when I fly back, my dad will stop nagging at him and temporarily for that 3 months, my dad will be off his back.
Family love is what I thought was the strongest, the only love that can never ever in my life let me down.
Boy how wrong can I be? Now when I'm lost, where can I turn to if I cant rely on my family to support me anymore?
*lost*
⥠every page of my imagination
Your Birthdate: November 20 |
Your birth on the 20th day of the month adds a degree of emotion, sensitivity, and intuition to your reading. The 2 energy provided here is very social, allowing you to make friends easily and quickly. Yet you are apt to have a rather nervous air in the company of a large group. You have a warmhearted nature and emotional understanding that constantly seeks affection. You are very prone to become depressed and moody, as emotions can turn inward and cause anxiety and mental turmoil. It can be hard for you to bounce back to reality when depression sets in. When things are going well, you can go just as far the other way and become extremely affectionate. |
⥠every page of my imagination
At exactly 624am this morning, *phone rings*
A disgruntled me: ummmm?
Another disgruntled voice at the end of the phone: Oi, get up for your exam!
Disgruntled me once more: ummm....
That disgruntled voice once more: OI!!! Get up NOW NOW NOW!
That was my morning call at 6.24am (for some reason, we should synchronise our times to prevent such weird timings). About 1 min later, *handphone alarm rings*. Looks at the time, 625am, WHAT THE!
Finally and grudgingly, dragged my sorry ass up from bed. *suddenly remembering the kiasu me, and turned off my other 2 alarms so that they dont wake Jasmine up*
Checked my eyebags in the mirror, YEP! I look like crap. What's new? Turned on the radio and the first sentence that floated through *the temperature outside is 16degrees* And for the first time of the day, notices outside, $%#@ Its bleeding raining and blardy cold, what a nice day to snuggle in bed. But yet.. Sigh.. Makes my already bad day even worse while at the same time murmuring to myself : Erikson's stage theories..What the hell was that again? Never mind.. Pushed that thought outta my head and walked to open my door, notice something in my blurry vision- 2 postcards! From my Darling Housemates- Jo and Jas wishing my luck and telling me to go easy to myself. Suddenly: *flashback to 3 hrs before*
Phone call to that same disgruntled voice in the morning. It went something like:
Me: I wish I'm dead at this moment in time.
Disgruntled voice:Stop studying now
Me: I want to puke and cry but I cant
Disgruntled voice: Stop studying now and go and sleep
Me: My whole body is trembling.
Disgruntled voice: Where is Jo? I'm going to tell her to walk over to your room now.
Me: Dont be an ass, she as an assignment and an exam to finish.
Disgruntled voice: Then Stop Studying now and go and sleep
Me: I want to die.. I cant!I hate my life.. ARGH...
Door Knocks.
Me: You idiot. I told u not to tell Jo. *hangs up phone*
While Jo came in super worried, started massaging me and making ginseng tea for me. Sigh, I'm so so sorry that I made everyone worried. Webcammed with Daphne for abit, cheered me for abit. Back to studying and studying..
Fastforwarding to this morning once more
Walking in the rain to the bus stop, just thinking to myself, why do I put myself through such shit. I mean its not the first time I'm taking an exam right? But I guess I aim too high at times. Now back at home blogging about it, *still shuderring at the thought of yesterday*, I realise that this can kill me really.
From the bottom of my heart, I'm really sorry for making so many people worried last night. Will try not to have a repeat of last night. Love you guys. :D
Now if you'll excuse me, I got a chess date with the Sleeping God. Tata~!
⥠every page of my imagination
Saw this on Daphne's bloggie. Interesting, its quite true and the way she writes, hm.. Not bad, not bad at all. Cept she whines about the littlest things. But nontheless, yeah. If you say I'm her kind of writing, so be it. *adopting that fuck-care attitude again* Time now: 9pm. My exam is in exactly 11 hours. Panicking my arse off with a pounding headache. What a wonderful feeling eh? Oh well, 625am, here I come!
Congratulations Jessica, you are...
Finicky Feline of finickyfeline.liquidblade.com
You may seem sweet on the outside but behind you hide a sharpened claw. You have the observation skills of a forensic detective and can see right through people easily. You attract attention, both good and bad, but more bad than good. You've seen more assholes in life than a proctologist. The bad ones tries to screw you over but quickly learnt that its a bad move because you enjoy screwing them back accordingly.
⥠every page of my imagination
This is cool. I almost changed my mind and fly home for this event. Esp since someone I know is in it. But my personal fav is Xavier!
Butch Hunt 2005
⥠every page of my imagination
What have I done since June came. As I looked through pictures, I realise, alot actually. Exams suck big time. I hate to be cooped up at home studying and studying and studying since the moment you get up. And even with such aparant hard work, there's still this feeling of dread that I cant finish my revision on time. Anyway, back onto June 2005. Today is the 6th of June, Monday. My exam is next TUESDAY. Can you believe it? I cant believe it myself. Oh well, at least as I look through pictures, I can see that I have been enjoying myself for the past few days.
1st June 2005 - A surprise awaited me when I came back from uni. Thank you so so so much!!!
2nd June 2005 - Met up with my Darling Nicole. Dont know what would I do without her really. Glad that we ironed out everything babe. Love you to bits!!! Went to our usual Cumquat House Gloria Jeans Haunt in _________! Cant say the place due "readership" ;). But yeah, havent been back there in a long time, its nice to remember once more.
And this is the BABE! Ok I know I have posted her pictures umpteen times, but yeah just cant get enough of her cos I seldom take pictures with her anymore..
After which I went down to Ipswich for Jade's birthday celebration.
The girls in Jade's birthday celebration - It looks like Phyllis or my birthday though...
The guys in Jade's birthday celebration
3rd June 2005 - Went down to Southbank for the SSS event Makan Night. But even before the event started, Wilson was already hungry. Went round Southbank looking for food. Brought Wilson and Josh to Decks: A fish and chips place that we love.
Wilson cant wait to dig in
At Decks eating Fish n Chips!
That was round 1. After we went for our event dinner, it was round 2. Walking around in the city, Wilson was HUNGRY again! But first up, the boys went to play Daytona, its amazing to see the skill involved in it. But nontheless, after trudging around the city for a while, managed to find the Pancake House for some supper. However we got bored (really really bored) while waiting for pancakes to arrive.
While waiting for the pancakes
Still waiting for the pancakes
And this is where you see the really bored us..
Self Portraits
West Moreton Brothers
After a long long wait and many pictures later, our supper finally arrived!
Wilson and his long stack
Josh and his Hot Troppo. Ok which his hand is covering
Me and my waffles
That was a satisfying FOOD filling NIGHT!
4th June 2005 - Went Sunnybank to eat Steamboat @ Xiao Tai Bei with Wilson, Jo, Taro and Josh.
Wilson and his one man steamboat
Satisfied
Apparantly not! Went to get some Pao Pao Cha. Its all the rage here though its so OVER in Singapore. Oh well...
While waiting for the drinks to be served, more photos!
But one thing I learnt with this group of people is that food and drinks is never an issue. Because, despite having Pao Pao Cha and super full steamboat dinner, we still decided to go chill out and have coffee and cheesecake at 3 Monkeys at West End.
@ 3 Monkeys
And lastly we were lost for awhile...
Which direction are we in? Melbourne or Brisbane?
An eventful start to the month of June, hopefully more to come..
⥠every page of my imagination
This is my darling Mimi that I miss DEARLY! I'm really sorry for being such a lousy girlfriend. Not knowing what happend to you. I MISH YOU HEAPS.... *waaaaah*
⥠every page of my imagination
Everyone has a Favourite Childhood song. This happen to me mine, since I was in Primary school. I didnt understand the lyrics when I was younger, but now as I grow older and hopefully more mature, this song I realise has very meaningful lyrics about relationships and women. How love should be and how we should not take it for granted.
I have never been to me - Charlene
Hey lady, you lady, cursing at your life
You're a discontented mother and a regimented wife
I've no doubt you dream about the things you'll never do
But, I wish someone had talked to me
Like I wanna talk to you.....
Oh, I've been to Georgia and California and anywhere I could run
I took the hand of a preacher man and we made love in the sun
But I ran out of places and friendly faces because I had to be free
I've been to paradise but I've never been to me
Please lady, please lady, don't just walk away
'Cause I have this need to tell you why I'm all alone today
I can see so much of me still living in your eyes
Won't you share a part of a weary heart that has lived million lies....
Oh, I've been to Niece and the Isle of Greece while I've sipped champagne on a yacht
I've moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo and showed 'em what I've got
I've been undressed by kings and I've seen some things that a woman ain't supposed to see
I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me
[spoken]
Hey, you know what paradise is?
It's a lie, a fantasy we create about people and places as we'd like them to be
But you know what truth is?
It's that little baby you're holding, it's that man you fought with this morning
The same one you're going to make love with tonight
That's truth, that's love......
Sometimes I've been to crying for unborn children that might have made me complete
But I took the sweet life, I never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet
I've spent my life exploring the subtle whoring that costs too much to be free
Hey lady......
I've been to paradise, (I've been to paradise)
But I've never been to me
(I've been to Georgia and California, and anywhere I could run)
I've been to paradise, never been to me
(I've been to Neice and the isle of Greece while I've sipped champagne on a yacht)
I've been to paradise, never been to me
(I've been to cryin' for unborn children that might have made me complete)
I've been to paradise, never been to me
(I've been to Georgia and California, and anywhere I could run)
I've been to paradise, never been to me
⥠every page of my imagination
Just taking a break from studying and just on my mind, suddenly I think of her - Joanna. Yep, folks, that's the one, the girl whom I have been staying with for the past 5 months nearly or so. Ok, our house has 3 people staying together, but let's just not get into that shall we? This entry is dedicated to Jo, my wonderful darling housemate who I'll never regret staying with. That fateful phonecall by a twise of luck, and wala! I'm staying with this gorgeous girl here.
I had my skeptics of course when we first started staying together cos I was so used to staying with Nicole. But Jo here, is my "shifu" in the kitchen, yes I can cook now. She expanded my social circle by heaps, always not forgetting to call me out whenever she's meeting someone for dinner or just shopping. She basically taught me ways of being independent, cos living outside is so different from last year.
This girl have been there for me through out all my relationships, always sitting there and knowing that I'm sad. Giving me a HUGE hug whenever I need. She just seems to have that radar whenever I'm sad. Also, she has a heart of gold. Truly she does, though she says she's already hardened her heart by alot, but still she has that heart of gold. She always seem to have the solution to everything, always thinking for me as well and offering another perspective.
Sad to say, she's graduating end of this year. But you're coming back with Ben for your masters. I'll still be here waiting for you girl! You better come back to me.. Or else.. :P Nah, you know I love you eh? *hugs*
Love you babe, Thanks for being there for me always.
Both our Fav Pics I suppose since its on both our Friendsters..
Drunk and all - still lovely together!
⥠every page of my imagination
This is Why Women Live Longer
Mum and Dad were watching TV when Mum said, "I'm
tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed."
She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the
next day's lunches. Rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took
meat out of the freezer for supper the following
evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the
sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the table and
started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.
She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load
of clothes into the washer, ironed a shirt and secured
a loose button. She picked up the game pieces left on
the table, put the phone back on the charger and put
the telephone book into the drawer.
She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung
up a towel to dry. She yawned and stretched and headed
for the bedroom.
Stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher,
counted out some cash for the field trip, and pulled a
text book out from hiding under the chair. She signed
a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped
the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery
store. She put both near her purse.
Mum then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, put on
her Night Solution & age fighting moisturizer, brushed
and flossed her Teeth and filed her nails. Dad called
out, "I thought you were going to bed." "I'm on my
way," she said.
She put some water into the dog's dish and put the cat
outside, then made sure the doors were locked and the
patio light was on. She looked in on each of the kids
and turned out their bedside lamps and TV's, hung up a
shirt, threw some dirty socks into the hamper, and had
a brief conversation with the one up still doing
homework.
In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing
for the next day,straightened up the shoe rack. She
added three things to her 6 most important things to
do list. She said her prayers, and visualized the
accomplishment of her goals.
About that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced
to no one in particular. "I'm going to bed." And he
did... without another thought.
Anything extraordinary here? Wonder why women live
longer...? 'CAUSE WE ARE MADE FOR THE LONG HAUL....
(and we can't die sooner, we still have things to
do!!)
⥠every page of my imagination