Its been awhile. I'm just so tired from uni and all those assignments and presentations. But I guess its all part and parcel of life but its just tiring. I wonder, one day can I stop being so tired? I think this semester is the toughest semester I have had so far. The work load is just tremendous. I see Josh like once a week. Though I understand that yes, this is nothing compared to people who are having long distance relationships. But the fact is we're both here and yet we're so busy that sometimes when his dad asks if he's with me, the answer is no.
Anyway, work aside because that we dont have a choice. I recently encountered the true pathetic-ness of men. Ever heard of the statement that men think with only one head at a time? Sometimes, I think men only have one head. Disgusting, seriously.
Hate to go out with people I cannot trust but I guess I will just have to put my guard up. Makes me miss Singapore and all my friends whom I know that I can trust dearly..
⥠every page of my imagination
I know that this is a little slow, BUT these are our National Day Dinner photos! Yes, we appreciate National Day alot more overseas.
The Reds and the Whites
The Girls I Love in Brissy
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吃饭吃到睡了
我开车开到傻了
我看书看到你了
开始怀疑我怎么了
说话说到吐了
我写歌写到疯了
我爱你爱到盲了
天知道我又怎么了
不舍得舍不得都分手了
舍不得不舍得散了
爱是你的我是我的完了
原来我只是突然累了
原来我不说了
原来我撑着撑到麻了
原来我不爱了
哒啦......
Don't make me feel this way. Please..
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Haha, I have been told to blog about less sadder stuff. I guess people are not used to this side of me. The me that's serious about life. In fact just the other day, I apparantly impressed someone with my take on relationships cos I always portrayed myself to be one who is light hearted in relationships. I guess that's why when I usually blog, I blog about happier stuff. What has been happening to me and things like. To be honest, I'm lazy to photo blog nowadays and that's why I blog more of my thoughts. But true enough, I do not really like to show this side of me as well. Cos it shows me weak. And weak is something I think no one ever wants to show? I think anyways..
Thus moving on to happier and hopefully more exciting things. I watched my first ever musical in my life! Ok, let's not count like those school plays or concerts that we were almost forced to go to. This was a REAL one, watched and paid for at the Queensland Performance Arts Centre. I watched Saturday Night Fever! It was really cool other than the fact I was completely completely underdressed. I swear, the next time I go to a play like this, Jess will NOT wear jeans, a tube and a fleece jacket, oh and flats. BIG SIGH.. But nontheless I truly enjoyed myself. The lead guy has like the best abs ever. Here's some evidence:
Look at those Abs.. *woot*
Simply love this guy. He's the funniest of the lot..
The very practiced stance...
Simply love this guy. He's the funniest of the lot..
The very practiced stance...
Simply looking forward to more plays. And the next time, I swear I'll be properly dressed.⥠every page of my imagination
Have you ever wondered what is it like to be alone? Like feel really really alone in the world where it just seems that no one cares about you. Well, perhaps its not that they don't care. Its just that they can't help. Even the closest people to you just seem to not be able to reach out to you, to not be there for you. But its not their fault, its just by coincidence that they cannot be there for you. Alone is what I feel then. You see strangers walking around you, and suddenly you just want to reach out and talk to them but yet that is the point in time where you do not want to be disturbed.
Alone or Disturbed. Which is a better feeling to have?
But I guess everyone needs some alone time on their own at times. But alone is when thoughts run wild. Alone is when that single tear will just come out on its own. Oh well.. Being alone. I can handle that. *crosses fingers*
Moving to slightly happier but not so fantastically happier things, I actually gave up clubbing today! While Josh is there, I'm not. Hm, that feeling, is weird. Trust has always been an issue with me, especially with boys clubbing. But nontheless, I spent some great quality time with my wonderful girls to take my mind of this matter. Ape made me leave my phone at home so that I'll resist the temptation to keep calling him like every erm 10 mins? But anyway, watched the movie Wedding Crashers.
*swoons* So in lluuuuvvvvv with Owen Wilson. And maybe for that M word? And that bike session...
*swoons* once more...
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This part of myself that I dont like. The part where I'm too emotionally attached to things. Why can I not go back to the Jess in the earlier part of the year where I can just disregard alot of things. I want to be indifferent once more to people who do not matter, instead of being affected by their actions, but I cannot.
Something must happen again once more to make me feel that this world is not worth me caring. But if something happens, I'll be really ice hearted.
Emotions are a chore to have.
⥠every page of my imagination
I think I have come onto this new post page for the 3rd time today. Somehow, I dont know what to blog. It seems that I have a bloggers' block. Ok, that sounded quite and pretty lame. But alright, that's not the point. I'm just at a loss what to blog. Not that I dont have anything to blog, its just that my thoughts are all over the place. Somehow I cant seem to collate them all and pack them all into nice paragraphs to write about. So bear with me while I try to blog with my haphazard thoughts for today.
My thoughts, how do I start? I guess its simpler to go by events. Lately, things have been really complicated. I mean I know that life is complicated cos that's the idiosyncracy of life but must life be that complicated until the extent where we cant even seem to make head or tail of it? I have blogged about life many times, what it has made me learn and the things it makes me go through. But life this complicated, I just wanna take a step back and breathe. Sometimes, I feel choked with life because its full of mistrust, betrayal, fake people and backstabbers. What ever happened to the beauty of life? After losing someone very close to me, I thought that I learnt to appreciate life more. I thought that I need to care more about the people around and not be indifferent to everything that does not seem to matter to me, but suddenly caring too much hurts. The pain I see going on in my friend's faces make my heart ache too. But then again, I'm just helpless to do anything because I simply cant. I want to do more than just offer a listening ear but I cant. Now I wonder, does making myself over invovled with other people's affairs hurt me even more? Or has it made me more sensitive to my surroundings and what's happening. At one part of this year, I'm indifferent to alot of things. I can be not affected by everything but now, I just feel slightly that I might fall apart. The strong me that is holding up this wall might not hold through any longer.
But then again, I dont want to be weak. I mean seriously, who wants to right? A sign of weakness. I hate to show it especially crying. I have not cried in a long time till the passing of a close friend. And then it just seem that my eyes are taps, just turning on whenever I'm upset. I hate myself this way, this weak side of me because I want to be strong for people around me. This wall.. Made me needy.
And I hate to be Needy.
Oh and did I mention I hate backstabbers too? Rather the accurate word is betrayers and people who think everyone else's business is theirs. There are people who exist in this world whom I actually think dont care about the feelings of others and just about themselves or wait, what they think is right. They enforce what they think is right, at the expense of others. How nice eh? I know of someone like that, sadly. Yes.. I should stay away from that person but I cant because she's everwhere. Thankfully, this feeling is mutual between us. If only she knows how to stop crossing boundaries.
But a bitching session always cure wonders...
⥠every page of my imagination
Yesterday was national day. Sigh, a 2nd National Day that I missed. But being patriotic us, we actually wore RED and WHITE! Haha.. But enough of that, Jessica is pissed at someone who cant keep her mouth shut.
Biatch...
And the rudeness of people, its amazing. People who lived with you before can see you as non-existent.
Pissed.
⥠every page of my imagination
Happy Birthday.. Dont know how to say this, but I guess you can see this from above.
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Waiting... What's the feeling like? It gives time to think. But then again it makes me think, what should one do when one meets with a situation like that.
⥠every page of my imagination