Friday, December 31, 2004 @12/31/2004 12:35:00 AM
My new blog add: Only you know so only you can read this. Therefore I dedicate this entry to you.
On the 31st of Oct 2004- You sent your first friendster message to me. Just a innocent message of asking after me, after you read about my break up. But that message made my day. It really did. It was at that point in time where I realised that there are people around me who cares about me, even people who dont know me at all. You sent me a 2nd message on the same day( a reply to mine) But that message brought a smile to my face.
Since then I look forward to sending you messages online and receiving your replies. Really thankful for you being there for me during those trying times of my life. You really listened to all my complaints though I know now that you have problems during that time as well. All the encouragement you gave and telling not to move on unless I'm ready to really helped because I was sick and tired of what everything everyone says. Things that are repeated. Only you listened to me say: If I love him I love him. There's no stopping me and life still goes on.
7th Nov- I remember you telling me that you're waiting for Olivia to come back. I was so happy for you. Coz at that point in time when I was down, I really people around me to be happy and be in a relationship they wanted to me in. You became my 'gong' cause you were always erm 'gong'? Mistaking your exam times and forgetting to collect your Art papers. Making me worry for you all the way from Australia.
Remember 'threatening' you that if you dont get a gf by the time I come back, I'll always tickle you. Or at least you said it was 'threaten' anyway.
14th Nov- You started calling me Darling. Even though I'm really quite uncomfortable and unused to people calling me darling especially since I only know him from friendster. But still, I used that word cause I was comfortable enough with you. Darling Darling Darling.. haha..
20th Nov- A birthday message from you. It was dear to my heart that you remembered.
23rd Nov- You rushed down all the way from Clementi by cab just to eat lunch with me and everyone else. But you were there. That was what matters..
24th Nov- your birthday Chalet. You keep asking me to stay over coz you really wanted to talk to me. I stayed though not for you but still talked to you all through the night. The rest they could say is history.
Actually not really because I think I had alot of emotional obstacles to overcome. So did you yet you still went ahead and asked me to be yours on the 11th of Dec. I bet you thought I forgot right? But no, I remember. Its just whether we celebrate that does not matter to me. Dear, thank you for everything that you have done for me. You are someone who has always always been there for me regardless of whether I was still having the status of a friend, a good friend, a darling, a dear to your girlfriend. You have gone through so much for my, so much that I cant even imagine the limitless boundaries that you can do for your girlfriend.
I always remember the time when you told the lame rabbit story just to hold my hand. I will always remember the times when you just held my hand naturally while walkign out of the train. I will always remember the times when you say you will settle her problems because you dont want to me to hurt. I will always remember the times when you try to always surprise me and even though I find out those surprises in the end before they happen, I appreciate them alot. I remember the time you put the ring on for me.
Most of all I remember the time when you look out for holes on the floor in case I was wearing heels, to make sure that I wont trip.Of all the things you have done for me, that was the one that I nearly teared for.
Dear, I know that I have not really been a great girlfriend. MY weak and vulnerable side though exposed is not totally shown. I still try to be strong in front of you but when I knew that I almost lost you, my heart nearly totally broke.
That's why today I give you this entry to say I love you and mean it.
Wednesday, December 29, 2004 @12/29/2004 12:42:00 AM
This is my new blog. For me, myself and you. You can be anyone out there. If you dont like what you're reading, oh well there's this little [X] on the top right hand corner of the page and click it. Coz I dont really care about what anyone thinks about what I write. Oh well, let's not lie. I do, care really but I try not to be affected. I started a new blog always because of the same reasons- I dont want Reuben to ever read this. Though the problem is settled, I dont quite like having someone I hate to read into my life and start telling me what I should and should not do. No longer yours, my life is no longer in terror. I can start life afresh. Everytime I change my blog address is to run away from him. The first time I didnt succeed. I hope that the 2nd time I'll. First entry, something I can finally leave behind. My old blog really held alot of memories for me. Good and bad. I think its time to move on and leave those memories behind.