Tuesday, January 24, 2006 @1/24/2006 04:52:00 PM
How do you live with someone who hates you? Who does not understand that everything lies on top of you. Expectations, frustrations, stress, hate all comes onto me. Things at home are always tense, always all the nagging. All because of me. Me me and me. My education to be exact. I blame myself constantly for putting my family in this plight. My brothers without a doubt blame me constantly for the plight that my family is in. They get the nagging, and the scolding but they don't understand that I get it worse. Because I don't get the support from people that are supposed to be my closest. Instead, I get blamed constantly. When I come back, I spend my own money. The money that I earn from work. When I go out, its using my money. I don't use my parents money anymore. I already try but yet. I still live with someone who hates me.
Exerpts from his blog:
i'm tired.i dunno what to feel.everytime i go home, i feel so sian.i dont wanna do work.my parents always lament short of money.my sis acts like shes some big deal.my brother is screwed up.money's not increasing at exponential rate(if only)i can't afford to go do ex stuff like buy a new instrument.my father still clips my wings.i stay in school till bout 7 then go home.ok i had np trainings on those days!but its rally sian la.my sis don't realise the reality and still keeps going out like nobody's business.not to mention spending money.i'm pissed and fed up of the same talk from my dad and nagging from my mum.my ears ring and i dunno how long i gonna take it before i juz leave the house and change my name.i dunno what to feel man.i am pretty stable.just that i've had it with these $$ problems and people who don't care a shite about it and still keep going out.and when i ask her to get her friend donate to my 120 cause.the guy attitude me and i tell em go and die.and its not face to face.its just overheard on phone.stupid bastard.He doesnt realise he got me into trouble for nothing.He doesnt even treat me like a sister anymore. Why should I even want this little brother of mine. He never thinks he's in the wrong.
⥠every page of my imagination