Friday, July 15, 2005 @7/15/2005 12:38:00 PM
The first post since I arrived in Sydney. Not about my happy moments here but about someone that is dear to me who has left. For good. Tuesday night, arrived in Sydney, checked my email and found out news that I never thought would receive. Regrets now in my head, deleting your smses when I should have kept them. Why did you choose this way out? Without leaving all of us a proper goodbye.
Reading through our mutual friends blogs. All their latest posts are about you. You mean so much to all of us. I was angry and hurt and guilty. Yes guilty esp after I read an email sent to me. An email just to inform me what was speculated to be going on. Some things are best left unsaid but I never said I didnt want you because you didnt know how to 'hong ren'. I wanted to explain to you but now I never will have a chance to. The hurt I feel among everyone save for your family is beyond what they imagine I can feel.
When your brother called me, I thought I heard a voice from the past. Your voice. You always told me how alike the 2 of you sounded and just at that split second, I just thought, had hope. Always going to your friendster to see the present that I never received cos of your blurness to forget to put my name there and gotten my address wrong. We were supposed to go ktv together. When all your friends send me friendster msgs, I just felt tremendous pressure but now if its an outlet for everyone to blame, I'll be the one.
Goodbye my dear @ntx, I loved you. I did. Take care my dear friend and may the next journey for you be a better one.
3 white roses every 11th July.
⥠every page of my imagination